Chapter 4 - The Metal Cage
God’s Help With Trust
Psalm 145:18-19
“The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon Him, to all that call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of them that fear Him: He also will hear their cry, and will save them.”
Galatians 5:22-23
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”
How good it was in my heart to know her name and I think, by her response, hers too. I was still waiting for the rescue to give me a jingle back. The meanings of her name brought insight as I continued to prayerfully watch her. I did not put her back in the metal cage but it was still there. She looked at it with wary eyes and her body posture was screaming don’t put me in there please. I didn’t even consider it and told her no more metal cage and asked her to trust me. “Lord please help us trust You as we build the trust we need with each other…. ”, I entreated this of The One Who is always trustworthy, along with all the other previously mentioned near to my heart principles.
We were going to have to build an expansive foundation of trust and I knew that would require time, consistency, patience, loving kindness, mercy, self-control, and basically every Fruit of my Lord’s Spirit to work in me so I could help her. This was not new for me to desire and ask Him for at all. That started in my early childhood Bible classes with my teachers using those fuzzy grape cluster felts on the felt board. We learned Jesus was the vine and we are the branches and in Him we should bear His Fruit. One by one we learned from Scripture: The Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; and I knew they were important and that I truly am His work in progress. To this day and all that will come, I pray to have His Fruit and His Word transforming and evident in my life. Like many of us, my little Kaiyah had fear, anxiety, stress, sadness, and complexities needing to be understood. I got her all “tucked in” said our good night prayers with the two kitties and lights out. That night we all slept a bit better.
In the morning after making sure Esther had her medicine, which she let me know was awful each time, Kaiyah Takota, came out of the room and I offered her a potty opportunity as usual. It was wonderful to see her responding to her new name. Although she still was timid and those emotional complexities weighed her down, she seemed a tad freer in her movements. We went and did our routine mission hike and after preps off to work I went. She was not in the dreaded cage and I trusted she would be ok in the room. Still no return call from the rescue. God has a plan and He is Faithful…answers would come.
That late afternoon I finally got home. Things seemed quiet. Esther and Gideon greeted me in the usual casual and firm manner. And each got pets and I got mews. I went to check on Kaiyah and there she was in her little ball with paws over muzzle even though she was not in the cage. She peeked up at me and seemed uncertain and did not move. Her eyes were miles away and the sadness was deep. I whispered her name and knelt beside her. Praying to my Heavenly Father again for His Peace and Security for all of us, I thanked Him for providing the much needed Wisdom and Counsel I was continuing to seek from Him, and for His help in building much needed trust and all that goes with it. I pet her for a few minutes and then quietly left the room, door open. I wanted her to know I was choosing to build trust with her and asking her to trust me. It seemed to me that her healing and wholeness would begin with this very important building block. And earning that comes with not being restrained all the time. As with people, relational building requires rapport and trust, especially when those souls have or are being damaged. It is always a risk building trust but control and domination are far more dangerous.
That evening I had some things to work on and just let her move about at will. It was a pleasant evening for us and everyone got along just fine. I had a little time to write my mom with updates on things and to read hers as well. Dad was getting stronger and they were talking about getting him home and considering options on how that would work with his current condition. I could tell she was feeling a bit overwhelmed at having to care for him. My dad was 6’ 4” in his prime, and although he was leaner with age now, that was “still a lot of man for this old lady to handle”, as my momma would say. She was not a petite woman she was tall and pretty strong for her age. Her overall health wasn’t great either but she wouldn’t focus on it too much. She didn’t like going to the doctor, neither did my dad, and would often make it clear that she put her faith in the Great Physician. I shared with her my concern and again asked her to let me know if she needed me to come.
The morning came with our new routine feeling a little more comfortable and to work I went. In no particular order my mind was full and I wondered about the rescue, Kaiyah’s story, things with my family, Esther’s health, things with ministry, things with friendships, concerns and evaluating consequences, my work and on and on. I was mulling things over to the point I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. Trying to keep my focus I offered it all in prayer again. The day was long and so was the drive. I was relieved to be getting home.
Right away I could tell something wasn’t right. The kitties did not greet me and Kaiyah was hiding. I walked into the living room and found one of the blinds had been chewed. I noticed little pieces of wood on the floor by the front door. She had tried to escape. Kaiyah had chewed the wood molding around the bottom of the door and the wood slats on the bottom of the blinds near the front door. She had left teeth marks amongst the shrapnel. My first reaction was shock, are the cats ok, is she ok. I didn’t see any fur or blood anywhere. I urgently went to find Esther and Gideon, they were just fine under my bed. “Thank you Lord!” I exhaled and then I went to find her. I was immediately concerned for her mouth and tongue and her front paws. She was hiding curled in her stress ball and shivering all over. She was terrified and totally wild in her eyes. I was tired, shocked, and afraid and I had a little anger in there this time. We are building trust and this was no bueno. I had to calm myself before approaching her and prayed in my heart for all the help He could give me. My posture had to change. I had come to believe deep in my heart that she had been physically abused and with that comes a whole lot of ugly. I slowly approached, quieted my tone, and knelt down. Then I did something unexpected. I laid flat and just spoke her name and told her what she did was not good. I know readers may find my “talking” to animals a bit weird but it has always been my way and my mom’s too. Body language and tone is huge, making eye contact or not is huge, and talking communicates many things as well. Looking into her eyes with kindness and not anger was critical and trying with all my heart not to break what little trust we were building. She shivered there for some time until I went to her and put my hands on her face petting very gently. It took a few minutes but she finally realized I was not going to hurt her. She stayed in the ball until I got up and offered her to go out. With that she ran out of the room right to the sliding door entry and into the back yard. She looked high and low for a place to escape. Seemingly relieved and yet visibly stressed. Reminded me of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) I’ve seen in people and other creatures and again prayed quietly. I left her out to unwind as I changed clothes, cleaned up the debris, took care of the kitties and got dinner going. It was a long day. Still no call from the rescue so I decided to try again and had to leave a message and this time firmer and my emotions were coming through loud and clear.
The call finally came close to 8 o’clock at night and it was Jodie. She sounded stressed herself and I shared what had happened, my concerns and wanted to know what she knew about Kaiyah. My feelings of being overwhelmed were beginning to break out and I needed answers. The metal cage had to go and I wanted to know how quickly we could set that up. I let her know it was not a safe place. It was a four sided slow death trap! I had had enough. She proceeded to ensure me that everything would be alright. I told her about the monitors, the shivering, the stress ball, the short pantings, the “laps”, her fear ducking and everything else I could think of including Kaiyah and Jodie’s need to trust me…a long silence ensued. I waited quietly, and then hesitantly she told me we could meet at the store again so I could return that trap to her and began to disclose what she knew of Kaiyah’s story at long last.
…Until we meet again…
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