Chapter 13 – Careening Toward Joy

God’s Presence Creates a Noise

Psalm 16:11

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in Thy presence is fulness of joy; at Thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Psalm 98:4

“Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.”        

Romans 12:15

“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”

Life was rolling along like a river raft working its way around rocks and bends while welcoming the occasional lull of quieter waters as it continued in the flow. A new year was a little more than half way through already, and with that came a deepening friendship with a man named Peter, the editor of this mini-novel and the one and only love of my life. I had come to know him over the years; a story for another time, and we were officially courting toward marriage with Godly intention. We didn’t see each other all the time as some do but were often more deliberate in how we spent our time and in our discussions. Work was intense as it usually was but also rewarding. I had chosen to “let go” of my non-profit ministry after much prayer and deliberation. It broke my heart but I believed it was making room for the transitions that my Heavenly Father knew were up ahead. I “let go,” but it hurt and it left me a bit out of sorts...

Some of my friendships were also changing and that too could not be stopped. At the time I worked very hard against what I feared was ahead for them… and our friendship, but eventually I would be forced to “let go” and trust God and let their free-will have its way… another set of stories for another time. A profound and rather explosive lesson was coming directly my way; one that would strike soundly that no matter how much we love others we can’t make their decisions for them even it leads to destruction. Overly protecting can be just as wrong as under protecting… to this very day I continue to earnestly pray for discernment, humility and confidence to trust my Loving Protective Sovereign God with everything. It’s still not easy.

My Marmi and I were continuing to build stronger bonds after my Pop’s passing. She was still devastated by the reverberating impact his death had on her and all the other grief that she was already carrying. Her faith in Jesus was strong but she was weary.   She had her three kitties keeping her company and the many faces and places she had known and shared with close by; that was good. It was awful being so far away from her. Marmi would hold her own to stay there, and she would say that was her home with my dad and full of memories of their life together. Being consistent in communicating and sharing what I could of my life seemed to make her happy and bring her close that way. God is Faithful and He has a plan and a purpose for everything.

Peter and I had planned a day trip in mid-July that year to visit Cathedral Rock in Sedona, Arizona. We both wanted to have a fun day out hiking, and for him to do some photography, which he often did when we would go out and about, and for me to bring Kaiyah into a new environment. He knew she was dealing with things and so was I. It was time for a road trip.

We loaded up my old SUV with all the essentials which always included prayer, my little Bible, water for everyone and healthy snacks. We took my vehicle because it had room for everything and was a safe place for traveling with Kaiyah plus it provided air conditioning and shelter from the hot sun. She hopped in with effortless enthusiasm and then we were off and heading up that much enjoyed roadway to the red rocks of Sedona. It was a super pleasant ride and the weather was sunny with a nice smattering of puffy white clouds which gave way for a very happy photographer.

Upon reaching our destination we found ourselves in the midst of trees, a meadow and wide open skies. Kaiyah was panting. Riding in vehicles was not her all time favorite thing to do but she looked more hopeful when we finally stopped and parked under a shade tree in the gravel parking lot. I opened the hatch and we watched her pop out - landing on all fours - and looking about kind of dazed. We gathered our gear, locked up the vehicle and began to get our bearings to head toward the monument we came to see. For me that area is beautiful so I was already a happy lady from just the drive. The company was pretty special too.

As we approached the designated trail into the woods Kaiyah’s ears perked and her “mission hike” posture was setting in. She looked back and forth, front and behind and seemed tentative as to who would lead our little pack into the wilderness. Stepping onto the dark brown lightly moist soil and entering into the woods immediately came with cooler air and a freshness that could only come from that earthy woodsy environment. The trail was not very wide but well beaten down and smooth. Not too many people were out that day. However there was the usual eager impatient folks who act like everyone is in their way, the happy visitors who want to talk or have children to corral as they slowly stroll along, the folks who think they have to break the rules including having their dogs mostly off leash, and then the folks like us who steadily made their way with dog on leash with the need to stop and explore once in a while.  

Soon the path beneath our feet began to travel alongside a quiet moving creek. I think we all were excited when we saw the sunlight glistening off the surface of the water and hearing the gentle rhythm as it lapped against the edge of the forest. It was a peaceful invigorating moment and one I noticed Kaiyah was finding enticing. Having her on a retractable leash allowed me to let her move a little more freely when no one was close by and “reel” her in when I needed her to stay a tad closer, and she showed me she had another path in mind. She wanted to be closer to the water. Unfortunately, I couldn’t let her do that in a few of those spots due to steep inclines and slippery areas with a bunch of dead tree debris. No way was I going to allow her to get entangled but I did let her get “her feet wet” a few times as we continued on.

We had a couple close encounters with a few off leash dogs who were rambunctious along with their owners who were just as much and flippant of any kind remarks to put their dogs on leash. I was used to moving out of the way and keeping her from being run over. She was a gentle and well-mannered girl and was not very social toward most dogs especially aggressive or overly friendly ones. We managed to get through those encounters without incident, praise God, and worked our way enjoying the sights and sounds of the forest and the ever widening creek moving with us.

Peter took a moment here and there looking for spots to photograph observing the lighting and composition, how many clouds were there or not, and whatever else was in his mind to consider and enjoy of God’s Beauty out there. We noticed a widening in the path and before we knew it the creek had broadened and this amazing golden earthen rock structure had come into view and with it the forest faded behind us. Being in the fullness of the sunshine and the breeze that lightly danced over the waters brought a comforting invigoration with it. Kaiyah immediately curled her tail, ears straight up, her fur all thick and she shook herself bathing in that sun. She looked at me and then immediately went in to mush mode… this she had not done with me before. She wanted to explore the large floor of wide rocks, smell the air, and get to the water. Kaiyah was in her element and it showed. She glowed in that sun bouncing off the rocks and water. She stood with a beauty and strength I had not seen in her until that moment. It was a sight to behold and my heart rejoiced for her.

I pointed out the transformation to Peter as he was in his element scoping things out for pictures and admiring the landscape. He laughed with joy for her and we watched, Kaiyah Takota, being herself. Freedom and joy are precious to see. I was in my element seeing healing and beauty replacing despair and grief and being in such a beautiful place the Lord had provided and had brought us to together. It was a moment in time we all needed.

After a little while of just soaking in the experience, Kaiyah suddenly careened like a ship avoiding collision and purposely landed into the water that was just to her right. She had been tip-toeing her way around the area trying to figure out a way to get into the creek. I noticed and had been watching her with care so she didn’t slip. I didn’t know if she could swim. I didn’t know if she would try to make a mad dash to the wide open desert if she got the chance, we were still building trust and companionship. Before I knew it she was up to her chest in the water and happy as you please. I reeled her in a little but Peter encouraged I let her enjoy herself and just stay close. I did and we watched her swim like she was born to it; I couldn’t believe it! She swam up and down the deep water area coming to the lower flat part of the rock outcropping and then made her way to shore. She got out, shook herself really good and stared into the canyon and up at the rocks, closed her eyes and just breathed. We actually thought we heard a bark - we weren’t sure - but there was a happy noise... It was marvelous to witness! I was praying much in my heart and the joy I felt was deep and satisfying. God is Good. He is my Faithful Rock and He is our Healing Refuge and I knew this was another appointment He had made.